Superevilvillainmeeting
by Miriam G
Summary: All the coolest villains of the world have met. This includes Vegeta, Voldemort, Sauron, Bowser and many others. For everyone who likes villains. Now you can vote who gets to rule the world!!! WUAHAHAHA!!!
1. Chapter 1

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story By Miriam G.  
  
Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the characters except for Lord Patrenabo - and me, hopefully. Voldemort is property of J.K. Rowling. Vegeta is property of the guy -what was his name? Something Japanese, you know the DBZ-guy, oh well. Darth Vader is probably property of George Lucas and The Emperor as well. Bowser is property of Nintendo, Ernst Stavro Blofeld is property of Ian Fleming. Hmm, whose property is Mojo Jojo? Well, the same one´s who owns the Powerpuff Girls. Visser Three is property of K.A. Appelgate, Sauron is property of J.R.R. Tolkien and Quaki is property of my older brother.  
  
Okay, here´s a short description of all the characters in case you don´t know them. If you know them, you don´t have to read this.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: He´s a character of a story I wrote that I won´t publish on fanfiction. He´s trying to take over the world by turning all the people into zombies who do everything he tells them. okay, it´s kinda complicated to explain the story quickly and if I tell the whole story, there would be no point in reading the book after ten years or so. Oh well, just imagine a guy in his mid-thirties with dark blond hair and clear blue eyes (kinda cute actually, I know, I´m a nut).  
  
VOLDEMORT: He´s the evil wizard from Harry Potter. He´s pretty tall and thin, bald, with red eyes and really long fingers.  
  
VEGETA: Vegeta is a Saya-jin (is that spelled correctly?), that´s some kind of alien that looks exactly like a human except that he´s got a monkey tail. He´s a lot stronger than a human and in the full moon he turns into a huge gorilla. His hair is pitch black and spiky. In this story he´s still wearing the cool blue Friesa uniform with the long white gloves (that looks so cool).  
  
DARTH VADER: Well, everyone knows Darth Vader but in case you´ve just spent 30 years in the jungle far from any civilisation; Darth Vader is the bad guy from Star Wars. He´s always dressed in black with this weird black mask, which makes his breathing really loud. His weapon is a laser sword, called a light saber.  
  
BOWSER: Bowser is Super Mario´s worst enemy. He looks like a strange dragon with a spiked turtle shell. He can breathe fire (at least he can in Super Mario 64), but he´s not a dragon or a dinosaur.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: He´s a villain from James Bond, you know, the one with the huge scar on his face and the kitty on his lap. Actually it´s enough to call him just Blofeld but my brother always calls him Ernst Stavro Blofeld (what a weird name).  
  
MOJO JOJO: Mojo Jojo is an evil monkey. No, really. He´s wearing a uniform that looks a bit like Vegeta´s, but his brain is so big that it swells out of his head and he has to cover it with a big hat. I know, he´s kind of stupid, but I think he´s cool.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Of course, he´s from Star Wars too and he´s cool although he´s really old and ugly. He´s always wearing this weird black hood over his head and speaks in a raspy voice. Maybe it´s kind of unfair to have two villains from Star Wars, but I think they´re both cool. The Emperor is probably the reason why I starting being interested in villains and Darth Vader is classic.  
  
VISSER THREE: Okay, that´s kind of hard to explain. Visser Three is an alien called a Yeerk. Yeerks look like slimy little slugs and they crawl through people´s (or other aliens´) ears into their brains and control them. Visser Three is the only Yeerk who has managed to get an Andalite host. Andalites are the Yeerks´ worst enemies. They look like blue centaurs with a scorpion tail, stalk eyes and no mouth (they communicate through thought speak). They have the ability to morph; to change into every creature whose DNA they have acquired. SAURON: Of course, Lord of the Rings! Good movie. It´s been kind of long since I saw the movie, but I think Sauron used to be pretty, but then he died and now he looks like a big ugly eye. He´s the one who created The One Ring, you know The One to Rule Them All.  
  
QUAKI: Quaki is a duck. He´s mad and evil and he´s got a Donald Duck voice. He´s got his own country, Quakiland, which is underground. That´s where he builds all his huge evil robots to take over the world. Only two people live in Quakiland; Quaki and, um, me (it´s a long story, the only reason he made me inhabitant of Quakiland was that he needed a player for his soccer team).  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That would be me! I know, girls are not supposed to be Lords, but it sounds so much cooler than Lady or Queen. Okay, that´s me: a really short teenage girl with brown curls, blue eyes and glasses. I don´t really look like an evil Dark Lord but whatever.  
  
Wow, that was pretty long! Okay, here goes the story:  
  
Warning! Read only if you are a totally strange and whacky person and promise not to flame me for being one (a strange and whacky person) and if you like villains and/or are one yourselve.  
  
  
  
All the coolest villains of the world have met in a conference room where they are sitting at a table. They have no idea why they´re here.  
  
MOJO JOJO: I wonder who sent that letter and asked me to come here.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Who´s that monkey sitting next to me?  
  
MOJO JOJO: Who you callin´ a monkey?  
  
VEGETA: I hope this meeting won´t take too long. I still have an Earth to destroy.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: What´s the point of destroying the Earth?  
  
VEGETA: It´s fun. Wuahahahahaha!  
  
SAURON: Great, I´m surrounded with geeks. I´m the only normal person here.  
  
VOLDEMORT: You call a huge eye normal? I feel pity for you. You probably don´t have any friends apart from that stupid ring.  
  
SAURON: Don´t talk like that about my Ring. Don´t you think she can hear you?  
  
DARTH VADER: She?  
  
SAURON: Yes. She´s mine. My prrreciouuus! My prrreciouuussss.  
  
QUAKI: You definitely need a girlfriend.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Okay, I still wonder who sent for us.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That was me!!!  
  
Everyone turns around to see a short girl with glasses, dressed like a total geek in jeans and an orange T-shirt that reads: "Talfrelsi á Íslandi". VOLDEMORT: Who is that muggle?  
  
QUAKI: I know her. She used to be the Vice-totally-highest-high-emperor of Quakiland.  
  
VISSER THREE: The what?  
  
QUAKI: Never mind. She destroyed half of my evil robots.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Did not! It was my brother´s fault! He had this other evil robot and. uh, whatever. I have asked all of you to come here for a special reason.  
  
For sake of coolness she quickly puts on a black robe with a hood and now she looks like The Emperor. She sits down in the only empty seat.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You are all the coolest villains of all the movies, TV-shows, books, comics and so on. So I was thinking that if we all worked together we would be much more successful than if we work by ourselves. Than at last we could have. (dramatic pause) world domination.  
  
VEGETA: No way, I want to destroy the Earth, remember? And it´s not fun to destroy something I own. Just like when I cut all my sister´s Barbie dolls´ heads off when I was little, but then my Mummy gave me a whole bunch of Barbie dolls for my birthday and.  
  
VOLDEMORT: You owned Barbie dolls when you were little? Heeheehee, that´s funny.  
  
VEGETA: (blushes) Oh, yeah? I heard you still sleep with a teddy bear.  
  
VOLDEMORT: (blushes too) Noooo, that´s something some nasty kids from fanfiction made up.  
  
Vegeta snickers.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hellooo!! Could we please stay with the topic?  
  
MOJO JOJO: Me working with all of you? No way! I´m the great Mojo Jojo! I don´t need a partner! I´ve never had a partner. I work all by myself. I always work all alone. That´s how I do it; by myself. I don´t need anyone else for my evil schemes. I can do everything alone. I don´t need help and I´ve never needed help because I am Mojo Jojo, the great!  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: I don´t need any help either. All I need is my kitty. Isn´t that right, kitty?  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY: This is so humiliating!  
  
QUAKI: I like the idea. First we all work together to achieve world domination, then we´ll have a big fight and the winner keeps world domination, the rest goes home and.uh. does something else.  
  
VEGETA: And if I don´t win, do I get to destroy the Earth?  
  
QUAKI: No.  
  
VEGETA: That sucks.  
  
BOWSER: I think this is a great idea. And if anyone of you doesn´t like it, I´ll grill ´em.  
  
Voldemort turns Bowser into an innocent fluffy white bunny. VOLDEMORT: I don´t work with muggles or giant mutated turtles.  
  
VISSER THREE: What about aliens?  
  
THE EMPEROR: Aren´t we all aliens?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Uh, no.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Yes, you would also be an alien if you were on a different planet.  
  
SAURON: What planet are you from?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oof, this bunch is giving me a headache! Ok, have you decided if you want to join me or not?  
  
QUAKI: I´m in!  
  
THE EMPEROR: So am I!  
  
DARTH VADER: Me too.  
  
SAURON: Me and my Ring too.  
  
VISSER THREE: Ok, I´ll only join you if you have a good plan.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Me too. ´Cos practically I already have world domination. I am the king of the world! Hahahahaha! And noone can stop me!!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Actually that´s kind of wrong. All I need to do is to erase your name out of the story and you´re dead. You´re not powerful.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Yes, I am!!! I am the most powerful person in the world!!! Noone else!!! Only me, me, me, me, me.  
  
Lord Patrenabo is now totally freaking out and banging his fist into the table, while The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. of the Something-Empire just watches him calmly.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Have you been drinking too much coffee again?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: No! Shut up!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t you know coffee is very bad for you? Why do you think the heroes in my stories never drink coffee?  
  
DARTH VADER: Hello?! Weren´t we talking about our plan to take over the world?  
  
VEGETA: And destroy it afterwards!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh, yes! And I already have a brilliant and evil plan! Heeheehee! It is so brilliant that you have to be a real genius to think of it but yet it´s so easy that it can´t fail.  
  
BOWSER: (who is still an innocent, fluffy white bunny) Oookaaayyy, and what is it?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t worry, I´ll tell you. But not until the next chapter. Just so the readers will have a nice cliffhanger. Muahahahahaha! I´m so evil!  
  
  
  
Okay, that might have been kind of strange, but I hope it was funny. Please review. All good ideas are welcome. 


	2. Chapter 2

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story By Miriam G.  
  
Disclaimer: I still don´t own anything except for Lord Patrenabo and The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. of the Something-Empire (at least I think I own myself, don´t I? Oh, well!).  
  
DARTH VADER: Okay, it´s the next chapter now. So what´s your plan?  
  
Everyone stares at The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire and awaits her answer in excitement.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Like I said, it is so brilliant and yet so simple - it just can´t go wrong.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Nah, quit talking around and just get straight to the point!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: All right. The plan is this: We will steal all the TV-remotes of the whole world. Then all those lazy couch potatoes won´t be able to switch channels without having to stand up and walk to the television. And we won´t give the remotes back unless they give us world domination. Then we will rule the world. Wuahahahahahahahahaha!  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire is the only one laughing. The other villains are just staring at her.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: .haha.ha.ha.haaa. What? Is something wrong with my hair?  
  
MOJO JOJO: That´s your evil plan?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Yeah. Pretty cool, huh?  
  
MOJO JOJO: This is honestly the worst evil scheme I have ever heard.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh yeah? And what about all those weird big robots of yours that you use to destroy the town, but in the end they all turn to junk?  
  
MOJO JOJO: Hey, don´t get personal!  
  
VOLDEMORT: Okay, I think I have something better to do than steal TV- remotes.  
  
BOWSER: And I have something better to do than to sit on a table, move my ears and eat carrots.  
  
VOLDEMORT: That´s not my problem, Bowser Bunny.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Fine! If you´re all so smart, why don´t you think of a better plan?  
  
SAURON: What about building a temple for my Ring?  
  
THE EMPEROR: Aaaand how would that help us to achieve world domination?  
  
SAURON: It wouldn´t, but it would make her very happy. Wouldn´t it, my precious?  
  
VISSER THREE: Why did you invite him?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Sauron, if you can´t stay with the topic, I´m afraid I will have to kick you out of the meeting. Both of you.  
  
Sauron starts crying (have you ever seen a giant eye crying?).  
  
VEGETA: What a wimp. Let´s kill him!  
  
SAURON: You can do anything you want to me, but leave my precious Ring alone.  
  
QUAKI: Would you please stop talking about that stupid Ring?  
  
Quaki grabs the Ring from Sauron and throws it (or her) out of the window.  
  
SAURON: Nooooooooo!!!!!!! You murderer!!!!!!  
  
QUAKI: Heeheeheeheehee!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Quaki, that was not very nice! Tell Sauron that you´re sorry!  
  
QUAKI: What are you? A kindergarten teacher?  
  
DARTH VADER: Super-evil villains don´t even know the meaning of the word "sorry". Um, what was it again?  
  
VISSER THREE: As humans would say; I´m outta here. I don´t need all of you to take over the human race, especially not your strange plans. I will order my troops to destroy all of you.  
  
VEGETA: Not if I destroy this planet first.  
  
VISSER THREE: Are you taunting me?  
  
VEGETA: Sure, if you want to fight, ya blue wierdo.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: I don´t think this is the right place to fight.  
  
VEGETA: Shut up!  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: But.  
  
Vegeta doesn´t listen to Ernst Stavro Blofeld. He goes into a Dragonball Z- fighting position and jumps 20 feet into the air. Unfortunately the room is less than 20 feet high, so he crashes into the ceiling, which messes up his spiky hair. He falls back to the floor and faints.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: That´s what I was going to tell him. Tsk-tsk-tsk.  
  
Visser Three morphs into a big ugly monster and swallows Vegeta.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hey, spit him out! He´s the coolest character of Dragonball Z and the show won´t be worth watching anymore if he´s dead. Visser Three reluctantly spits Vegeta out (not because I told him to, but simply because sayans don´t taste very good), who is now covered with alien saliva. Visser Three morphs back.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: See? He should have just listened to me in the first place. Isn´t that right, kitty?  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY: Don´t call me kitty. Geez, I hate this role. I´m never going to a casting again. I go there to cast for the part of the villain and what do they give me? The part of the villain´s pet. I should sue them. (Oh, and by the way, Miss writer. My name is not Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s kitty, it´s Garfield. Get it? G-A-R-F-I-E-L-D!!! Ok, that´s all.)  
  
The name of Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s kitty was changed into Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s kitty who names himself Garfield.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: Grrr.  
  
Vegeta slowly wakes up and wonders why he is covered with slime. Voldemort and Darth Vader, who are sitting next to him, move as far away from him as they can.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Okay, what were we talking about?  
  
THE EMPEROR: A plan to take over the world.  
  
BOWSER: I have an idea! Let them listen to Britney Spears until they surrender! That is so evil! Wuahahahaha!  
  
The evil laugh is supposed to sound scary, but coming from an innocent fluffy white bunny, it just sounds stupid.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Uh, nice. Does anyone else have an idea? If not, we´ll go with my.  
  
Suddenly there is a knock on the door.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Who could that be?  
  
QUAKI: I bet it´s a.  
  
Qcaki twists his face in disgust and says the next word as if it was something really disgusting.  
  
QUAKI: . hero.  
  
Everyone looks to the door in shock. The person outside knocks again.  
  
SAURON: Quaki is right! Maybe it´s Frodo Baggins!  
  
VOLDEMORT: Or Harry Potter!  
  
VEGETA: Or Goku!  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: Or James Bond!  
  
MOJO JOJO: Or the Powerpuff Girls!  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Or Copper and his friends!  
  
BOWSER: Or Super Mario! Great, just now while I look like a freak!  
  
VISSER THREE: Or the Andalites!  
  
THE EMPEROR: Or Anakin Skywalker! No, wait, that´s you.  
  
DARTH VADER: I think you mean Luke Skywalker.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Exactly! Your son! How could you let your son go over to the good side? You must have been a bad father.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Excuse me, fellow villains! May I say two things? Alright, number one; this is getting boring and number two; why would a hero who´s trying to surprise and kill us knock on the door?  
  
MOJO JOJO: Uh, because it´s locked?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: The only way to find out who this is, is to get up and open the door.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: I don´t think this is such a good idea.  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire stands up and walks to the door. All the other villains hide under the table.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Cowards! I´ll open the door now and you´ll see that it´s probably just a pizza boy or a salesman or someone suicidal.  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire slowly opens the door. The villains are still sitting shivering under the table and stare at the door. When The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire sees who is outside the door, she gets a shocked expression on her face.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You!? What are you doing here?!  
  
  
  
Hahaha! You won´t find out who it is until the next chapter! Review please! 


	3. Chapter 3

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story By Miriam G.  
  
Author´s note: Sorry for the delay. I had this writer´s block and when I started writing again, I realised that this chapter was lacking all the originality of the first two, so I left it all alone on my floppy for a while until I got some new ideas from my brothers. Thanks, guys! Now the chapter is funny again! WEEEE!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I still don´t own anything except Lord Patrenabo (he´s cool) and me (I´m pretty cool too, at least sometimes). I don´t own my brother. On second thought, it would be cool to own him, but he´d kill me first.  
  
Brother´s note: Exactly!  
  
The villains are still hiding under the table while The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire is standing by the door.  
  
VEGETA: Oh no, it must be a hero!  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire moves a little to the side, so now the villains see a teenage boy, slightly older than The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire with dark hair and a basecap on his head.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: What are you doing here, Jared?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: My name is not Jarred. It´s Jarred, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain Historry.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: What´s with the accent?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: That´s my villain accent.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Whatever. Get lost, I´m busy.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: I have hearrd that you arre holding a meeting of all the most evil villains of villain historry. How come that I wasn´t invited? I am yourr own brrotherr!  
  
VOLDEMORT: He´s her brother? He´s not a hero?  
  
QUAKI: Yeah, I know him. He´s a loser.  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain History sends Quaki a destroying look.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: How do you know about this meeting? It was supposed to be a secret!  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: I found the invitation in Quaki´s secrret laborratorry.  
  
QUAKI: Hey, how do you know about my secret laboratory?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Who doesn´t? Hey, sisterr, if you need help, I alrready have an evil plan to take overr the worrld. We could clone all the heads of the worrld.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Aha. Well, my plan is a lot better. But I can´t tell you. It´s top secret.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Let me guess, the old one with the TV-rremotes?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Who told... uh, I mean, no.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Anotherr question; what arre they doing underr the table?  
  
The villains come out from under the table and sit down again, pretty embarrassed.  
  
SAURON: It´s not like we were scared or anything. We were looking for my Ring, that fell on the floor.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: You mean the thing that fell on my head when I was walking past the window?  
  
SAURON: Precious!!!!  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: If you mean that; I thrrew it in the trrash.  
  
SAURON: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
DARTH VADER: Hmm, that reminds me of something.  
  
Sauron jumps out of the window, into the trash container.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Oh, wait. No, I´m mistaking. I just put it in my pocket.  
  
VEGETA: At last we got rid of that freak.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Won´t he just come back in?  
  
VEGETA: I don´t think so. Today is Thursday.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Oh. Cool.  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain History sits down in Sauron´s empty seat. The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire sits down too.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Do you really have to be in this meeting, Jared?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: My name is not Jarred. It is Jarred, the Most Evil.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: .Most Evil Villain Of Villain History. I know, I know. I don´t remember inviting you, so get out.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: I still don´t underrstand why you didn´t invite me.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: ´Cos you´re not cool enough. That´s why.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: So you think I´m not cool enough but you invite an innocent fluffy white bunny? (points at Bowser)  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That´s Bowser.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Oh. What about the kitty?  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: Don´t call me kitty!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That´s Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s kitty who names himself Garfield.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: I hate you.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Isn´t that the point of being evil?  
  
A reader bangs the fist into his/her computer screen because he/she is starting to get tired of all these long names and begs for the villains with the short names to speak more. So while The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire and Jared, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain History are playing "Who can stare at the other one longer diabolically without breaking down?", the other villains continue their conversation about world domination. (Hey, that rhymes! Conversation - domination. Conversation - domination....)  
  
LORD PATRENABO: People always think that it´s easy being a villain, but it´s actually hard work. I mean, you can´t just wake up one morning and decide: "Hmm, I think I´m going to become an evil psycho and take over the world." No, you have to work towards it for a long time. Many, many years.  
  
VISSER THREE: Yes, you´re absolutely right! And then you always have to fight those stupid heroes.  
  
MOJO JOJO: And of course the heroes always win eventually, just because the authors like them better.  
  
VEGETA: Or worse! Sometimes they make us become good!  
  
The other villains stare at Vegeta in shock.  
  
BLOFELD: Nooo, they wouldn´t dare!  
  
VEGETA: Yes, they would. Just think about Piccolo. He used to be a cool villain, but when that stupid Nappa tried to kill Gohan, he sacrificed his life for him.  
  
VOLDEMORT: But... but... that´s barbaric! We´re the villains. We´re supposed to be evil.  
  
VISSER THREE: Blah! The thought of becoming good makes me sick! If I had a mouth I would throw up now.  
  
DARTH VADER: That could never happen to me. The dark side rocks!  
  
The other villains try to avoid looking at him, because they don´t dare telling him that he becomes good in the end of the movie, just before he dies.  
  
BOWSER: Well, they couldn´t make me turn good or kill me, otherwise they couldn´t produce anymore Mario games. Wuahahahaha!  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Yeah, but at least we don´t have to live with the humiliation of being beaten again and again and again, like Team Rocket.  
  
Bowser blushes and is now an innocent fluffy red bunny.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Except for Voldie. That Potter brat sure has a way of kicking your butt.  
  
VOLDEMORT: (blushes) Well, if I´m not mistaking, you end up in jail in the end of every single episode.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Not every single episode.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Your lucky, Lord Patrenabo. Your author is also a villain, so she might consider letting you win.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: I don´t think so. Authors are authors. Besides, I think she hates me.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Do not! I don´t make up people I hate. Except for annoying, selfish, bratty, blond, in-crowd-type girls. Grrrr, I hate them!!!  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Me too. Umm, would you consider letting me win if I would bribe you?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: How much?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: I don´t know. Five bucks?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Five bucks!? You own the entire world and all you have to give are five bucks!!!??? I should kill you in the end.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Tsk! Teenagers!  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With A Big G. Of the Something- Empire pouts and puts on the headphones of her CD-player. Then she starts singing loudly Atomic Kitten, just to annoy everyone.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: The tide is high, but I´m holding on! I´m gonna be your number one...  
  
Voldemort shrugs. He takes out a packet of crackers and starts munching them loudly. Everyone is staring at him.  
  
VOLDEMORT: What? Is something wrong with my hair?  
  
(Author´s note: I know, stupid joke. That´s a quote to myself in the second chapter, remember?)  
  
Suddenly the door opens and a giant eye enters the room (of course, Sauron). He is really dirty and he´s got trash all over him.  
  
SAURON: I... I... I tried to save her, but... but... but the recycling container... (starts crying)  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: What is he talking about? The Rring is rright herre in my pocket. Between my melted chocolate barr and my used handkerrchief.  
  
SAURON: You... she... I... (faints)  
  
VEGETA: What a hopeless geek.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: No one loves you like I love you! No one needs you the way I do...  
  
QUAKI: Um, can´t we just get to the point for once? I think the point of this meeting was world domination.  
  
THE EMPEROR: The point is lost.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Yeah, as lost as the Rring. (throws the Ring into some corner) Muahahahahahaha!!!  
  
Some of the other villains laugh, but suddenly their eyes grow wide with fear, they turn pale and they stare at something behind The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Hey, what arre you starring at? (turns also in the direction the other villains stare at) Oh, no! Mirriam, watch out!!  
  
The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire doesn´t hear anything since she´s got her headphones on.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: I believed in you! Must have been a fool! All my dreams were with you...  
  
VEGETA: Oh no! That´s not good!  
  
  
  
  
  
Author´s note: Cliffie! Muahahahaha! Hey, Sarah Black! You threatened to make up a super villain who would steal my TV-remote if I wouldn´t update soon, so I stapled all our remotes to the table. Lol!!! By the way, I forgot a few disclaimers: I don´t own Atomic Kitten or the songs "The Tide Is High", "No One Loves You" and "It´s Ok!". (For some strange reason, Americans don´t seem to know Atomic Kitten. Well, It´s a British girl group. They even sang in a concert for the queen. *fine british accent and smoke rings from a pipe* Yes, indeed, an interesting concept, isn´t it?) Anyway, I don´t own Britney Spears either (Bowser mentioned her in chapter 2) and all the heroes that the villains were talking about (except for Copper and his friends, they´re mine, aaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll miiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee...). Alrighto, review please! Or I will steal your TV-remote! Wuahahahaha!!! I´m so evil! 


	4. Chapter 4

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story  
  
By Miriam G.  
  
Disclaimer: If you really want to know what I own and what I´ve stolen, read the disclaimers in the other chapters. By the way; I don´t own Gohan or Nappa from DBZ. Of course not, I´d kill myself if I owned Nappa! I hate him! He´s the stupidestest (yes, I did say stupidestest) character in the whole show! *pulls out a voodoo doll that looks like Nappa and stomps on it* Die, Nappa, diiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Uh, anyway, read this chapter and review or the terrible plagues of Egypt will come over you. Wuahahaha!  
  
All the villains are staring at a mysterious being (dramatic music) behind The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire who is still listening to her CD. The mysterious being (dramatic music) sneaks up behind her.  
  
THE MYSTERIOUS BEING (DRAMATIC MUSIC): Wuahahaha... woah!  
  
Suddenly the mysterious being (dramatic music) trips over Sauron who´s lying on the floor.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Baby, you´re the one, you still turn me one, you can make me... hey, what´s that mysterious being there? (pauses for a second, then looks annoyed when nothing happens) Hello! Dramatic music please! I said 'mysterious being'. (dramatic music)  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Wait a minute! I know who that is!  
  
Everyone stares at Jared, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain History in surprise.  
  
QUAKI: You know who this mysterious being (dramatic music) is?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Of courrse I do. That´s Spiderrman.  
  
Spiderman stands up.  
  
SPIDERMAN: What idiot put that egg there? I´m gonna have a headache for the rest of the week. (notices that the villains are watching him) Uh, hi! I´m Spiderman. I heard that you´re having a Super-evil-villain-meeting, so I decided to come over to fight with the Green Goblin.  
  
VOLDEMORT: The Green Goblin? He´s not here.  
  
SPIDERMAN: Really?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Mirriam, why didn´t you invite the Grreen Goblin? He´s my favourrite villain.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Yeah, he´s taped every single episode of Spiderman, just so he can cheer on the Green Goblin.  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain Of Villain History puts on a hat with a picture of the Green Goblin on it and waves two flags.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Grreen Goblin, Grreen Goblin, Grreen Goblin...  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hmm, that reminds me; I did invite the Green Goblin but he didn´t show up. I wonder why.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: Probably because I killed the mailman last week.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh, that explains everything. And I was starting to get worried.  
  
SPIDERMAN: So, um, what am I doing here if there´s no Green Goblin to fight with.  
  
VEGETA: Hey, let´s train our villain skills on him. Hehehe!  
  
SPIDERMAN: Hey, thirteen versus one! That´s not fair.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Of course not. We´re villains. Duh!  
  
Darth Vader, Vegeta, Voldemort and Visser Three all try to attack Spiderman at the same time but Spiderman shoots a sticky string out of his hand and jumps to the ceiling, so that the four villains crash into each other. They fall to the floor.  
  
DARTH VADER: Ouch!  
  
VEGETA: Hey, you little b...  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Watch your tounge, Vegeta. This fic is G-rated.  
  
Vegeta quickly changes the rating to NC-17 and uses up all his dictionary of swearwords that are so bad that every mummy and daddy in the world would faint if they would hear this. Then he pauses and breathes loudly.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Are you done now?  
  
VEGETA: Yeah, I think so.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Good. (changes the rating back to G)  
  
VISSER THREE: What are you doing up there, you coward? Come down and fight like a man.  
  
SPIDERMAN: No, thank you. I´d rather live as a coward than die as a man.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: I thought heroes were supposed to fight for the right to the bitter end, even if it may cost their lives.  
  
SPIDERMAN: I´m on lunch break.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Heroes! They always get whimpier and whimpier.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: Yes and the saddest thing is that without the heroes the villains wouldn´t exist.  
  
THE EMPEROR: In other words; the stupider the hero, the stupider the villain?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Prrobably. Wait a second. I don´t have any herro.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Really? Did you kill him?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: No, I mean I´ve neverr had one.  
  
BOWSER: What?! You´ve never had a hero?  
  
DARTH VADER: How can you call yourself a villain if you don´t even have a hero?  
  
VISSER THREE: Yeah, get outta here!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hey, don´t give him such a hard time. I´m sure he´ll find a hero sooner or later.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: You´rre just saying that because you don´t have a herro eitherr.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (blushes) Shut up!  
  
Sauron finally wakes up and after rolling around a few times he stops and looks at the ceiling.  
  
SAURON: Who´s that guy on the ceiling?  
  
Everyone turns around to see Spiderman who´s still hanging on the ceiling. He´s taken his mask off and is drinking a cup of tea. By the way, for some reason he looks remarkably much like Tobey Maguire.  
  
THE EMPEROR: I thought heroes were not allowed to take their masks off. What do you think would happen if I would take my hood off?  
  
SPIDERMAN: I told you; I´m on lunch break.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (stares at Spiderman in awe) Wow, hottie!  
  
Everyone stares at The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire in shock and disgust.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Mirriam! Which side arre you on?  
  
BOWSER: I thought you were a villain!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hey, just because I´m evil, doesn´t mean that I can´t be a normal teenage girl.  
  
Suddenly the front door slowly opens.  
  
SAURON: Hmm, who could that be?  
  
MOJO JOJO: Another friend of yours, Miriam?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Geez, I hope not.  
  
A little 11-year-old boy with long, brown hair sticks his head in. The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire looks at him in surprise.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (whispers) No, cou-could it be? But...  
  
A narrator´s voice appears out of nowhere.  
  
NARRATOR: Who is this mysterious boy? And why is The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something-Empire so surprised? Does this have anything to do with a dark secret from her past? Find out in the next episode of Super-evil-villain-meeting!  
  
  
  
  
  
Author´s note: I don´t own Spiderman or the Green Goblin (in case you wondered: yes, it is true, my brother has taped every single episode of Spiderman [brother´s note: not every episode] ). Do I own the mysterious 11- year-old boy? Not tellin´! You gotta find out in the next chapter! Wuahahahaha!!! (Is it my imagination or am I using an incredible amount of evil laughs in this fic?) 


	5. Chapter 5

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story  
  
By Miriam G.  
  
  
  
How to be evil  
  
(10 easy steps)  
  
Train a rabbit to bite people. Put the rabbit somewhere were a lot of people are while you hide nearby. If someone tries to pick it up, it´ll bite the person. Steal his or her pants and run away while doing an evil laugh.  
  
When you are in a supermarket, take a lot of time at the counter. Draw with a marker extra lines onto the line code, so the cashier will have to ask someone what the item costs. Say all the time: "Wait, I wasn´t gonna buy that! I wanted the other one. Now I changed my mind, I think I do want the one I had before. Hey, who put that into my shopping cart?" Pay a huge amount with pennies, then realise that you are two pennies short of being able to pay, so you have to return something. Ignore the annoyed shouts of the queue.  
  
Lock all the toilets in a public bathroom from inside, then escape through a window or a gap under the door.  
  
Volunteer to walk in the front in a parade. Walk slowly. Veeeeryyyy sloooowlyyyy.  
  
If someone really, really, REALLY hates you, give him or her a BIG hug and kiss him or her on the cheek. Then run away quickly. Your enemy is going to be grossed out to death.  
  
Stand on a corner and tell everyone who passes you, what they look like. The more ridiculous, the better. Examples: "You look like a dead insect." "You look like my English homework." "You look like the hamburger I ate last week." "You look like a radioactive isotope." If someone doesn´t believe you, hand him or her a mirror.  
  
If you´re a guy, grow a big, black mustache with curly tips that you can roll in your fingers while smirking evilly. If you´re a girl, you´ll just have to paint it on with coal. WARNING!! Do NOT grow a goatie! It looks stupid!  
  
Make a conspiracy website which tells about so absurd conspiracy theories that everyone will think you´re insane. Doing this you can easilly hide your REAL conspiracy. Wuahahahaha!  
  
Promise to give your brother the super cool new computer game he wants for his birthday but instead give him a fish. Tell him the fish ate the computer game.  
  
Drive way too fast on a 30-road. Try to run over everything you see. When stopped by the police, switch to the passenger´s seat and put a teddy bear on the driver´s seat. Blame the teddy.  
  
Author´s note: Hello, hello! Thank you for all your reviews! I love reviews. I´m addicted to reviews. R-E-V-I-E-W-S, I need R-E-V-I...  
  
Everyone is staring at that weird little boy who´s standing in the doorway. Yes, you probably remember.  
  
WEIRD LITTLE BOY: Excuse me, does anyone of you have a glass of water? Pure Luke blacked out when we made that DNA-test to find out who his father is.  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Copper?  
  
WEIRD LITTLE BOY: (notices Lord Patrenabo)Lord Patrenabo? Hey, long time, no see!  
  
THE EMPEROR: Do you know this boy?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Of course, that´s Jojo Copper. He´s my hero.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Yeah, I made him up!!! Isn´t that cool?  
  
VISSER THREE: I see... Um, he´s kind of...  
  
DARTH VADER: ...little.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (insulted) No, he´s not!  
  
JOJO COPPER: So what are you doing here, Lord Patrenabo?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: (proudly) We´re having a Super-evil-villain-meeting.  
  
JOJO COPPER: Really? No kidding! What a weird coincidence! We´re having a Super-good-hero-meeting right next door.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Super-good-hero-meeting? Geez, I hope you´re kidding.  
  
JOJO COPPER: Nope! Hey, what about getting all the heroes to come here, so we can fight you guys. That would be cool.  
  
SPIDERMAN: Sure, I could use some back-up. Not that I wouldn´t have been able to deal with them by myself but...  
  
VEGETA: Show-off!  
  
JOJO COPPER: (turns around and shouts) Hey, heroes! Your villains are here! Wanna come fight them?  
  
A group of people and other stuff comes in; a teenager with glasses and a scar on his forehead, a Sayian, a young Jedi knight, a fat little Italian plumber, a British secret agent, three strange looking little girls, an unusually ordinary looking teenage boy, a hobbit and a dog.  
  
HARRY POTTER: Voldie! Uh, I mean He-who-must-not-be-named.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Oh no, not you again!  
  
GOKU: Hey, Vegeta! Still wanna destroy the earth?  
  
VEGETA: Get lost!  
  
LUKE SKYWALKER: I will never join the Dark Side of the Force!!!  
  
DARTH VADER: Yeah, so? Why do villains always have to offer the heroes to join them?  
  
THE EMPEROR: Just so the heroes can refuse and the audience can see how brave and decent the heroes are. I guess.  
  
SUPER MARIO: Ya! Hoohoo! Yahoo! (makes a triple jump) Hey, Bowser´s not here!  
  
VOLDEMORT: Yes, he is. He´s that innocent fluffy white bunny.  
  
BOWSER: Thanks a lot!  
  
VOLDEMORT: (grins) You´re welcome.  
  
JAMES BOND: (looks like some kind of mix between Sean Connery, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan) Wait a minute! I thought you were dead, Blofeld! How often do I have to kill you?  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: Cats have nine lives.  
  
JAMES BOND: Oh. Aaaand how many have you lost yet?  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: Uh, I´m not sure. Cats can´t count.  
  
POWERPUFF-GIRLS: We´re the Powerpuff-Girls!!!  
  
All heroes go "Aaaaawwww" because the Powerpuff-Girls are sooo cute. Mojo Jojo shakes with disgust.  
  
JAKE: Hi, Visser Three.  
  
VISSER THREE: Wait! You´re not an Andalite!  
  
JAKE: Uh, I´m not? Uh, I mean, of course I am, I´m just in human morph. (grins)  
  
FRODO: Where is Sauron?  
  
SAURON: (stands up from the floor) Hey, what did I miss? Frodo? What are you doing here? I´m sending my Nazguls on you!  
  
A girl dressed like a Nazgul suddenly comes in and hits The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire on the head with her leathery gloves.  
  
MALIANA: I can´t believe you didn´t put the White Witch from Narnia in your story!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Splink!! Brutnik!! Spoohfa!!  
  
Since she doesn´t have anything to do with the plot, the girl disappears as quickly as she appeared.  
  
QUAKI: What? Hm? Oh, I guess it´s my turn to say something. Hey, you stupid dog! I hate dogs! I hate mammals! You´re ugly!  
  
SNATI: Wow, you´re a lousy villain.  
  
QUAKI: Am not!  
  
SNATI: Are too!  
  
QUAKI: Am not!  
  
SNATI: Are too!  
  
QUAKI: Am not!  
  
SNATI: Are too!  
  
QUAKI: Am not!  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Note to myself: animals make lousy villains and superr herroes.  
  
QUAKI AND SNATI: Do not!  
  
LUKE SKYWALKER: Let´s fight this evil and save the universe from corruption and...  
  
DARTH VADER: Shut up or you´re grounded!  
  
LUKE SKYWALKER: Grounded? But Dad...  
  
DARTH VADER: No buts! You know the rule; no fighting evil before you´ve done your homework.  
  
JOJO COPPER: Geez, and I thought my parents were annoying!  
  
GOKU: C´mon, guys! Let´s fight! Yeeeeaaaahhh!!!  
  
Everyone except The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire, Jared the Most Evil Villain of Villain History and Spiderman start fighting. Snati tries to bite Sauron, while Sauron is using his Ring to try to kill Snati, Jojo Copper uses Quaki as a soccer ball, while Quaki is shooting around with a huge laser gun, Harry Potter tries to turn Lord Patrenabo into... uh, something stupid and Lord Patrenabo tries to steal his wand, Goku uses his Kame-hame-has against Voldemort´s Avada Kedavras, Luke Skywalker uses the Force against Vegeta´s psychic powers, Super Mario jumps around on The Emperor and Darth Vader who are trying to slice him to pieces with their light sabers, James Bond shoots at an innocent fluffy white bunny who can´t even breathe fire, the Powerpuff- Girls use their super powers against Ernst Stavro Blofeld who is using some stupid killing machine (except for Bubbles, she´s petting Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s Kitty Who Names Himself Garfield), Jake morphs into a tiger and tries to eat Mojo Jojo but Mojo Jojo goes into some huge killer robot of his and shoots around with laser eyes, Visser Three morphs into something big and ugly while Frodo is doing... whatever Hobbits do.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hey, what are they doing? They´re doing it all wrong! They´re fighting the wrong people.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Arre they allowed to do that?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t know.  
  
SPIDERMAN: Hm, since the Green Goblin is not here, I don´t have anyone to fight with.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: I´ll fight you!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: WHAT?!?  
  
SPIDERMAN: Okay.  
  
Spiderman and Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History start fighting. The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire sighs.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: What are you doing? Hello? Won´t anyone listen to me? HELLO!!!!  
  
Everyone ignores The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire and keeps fighting.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hello!!! Hello!!! HARK!!!  
  
Everybody stops fighting and looks at The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Finally. Have you guys noticed that you´re fighting the wrong people?  
  
VOLDEMORT: Yeah. So?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Well, that´s just... wrong.  
  
THE EMPEROR: Do you have any idea how boring it is to always fight the same heroes?  
  
JAKE: Or the same villains.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Well, uh...  
  
They start fighting again. The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire sighs again. Suddenly James Bond stops harassing the poor innocent fluffy white bunny and walks over to The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire.  
  
JAMES BOND: Hey, you´re a girl!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Nice that you noticed.  
  
JAMES BOND: (runs a hand through his platinum shine hair and uses his finest British accent) How about if I would invite you to dinner some time?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (stares at James Bond as if he was an alien) Hey, you´re a hero, I´m a villain. Remember?  
  
JAMES BOND: Who cares? As long as it´s female, I try to flirt with it. (stupid, annoying toothpaste smile) And I ALWAYS succeed.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Eeeewww! You´re so gross! (takes out a huge laser gun and aims at James Bond) Leave me alone or I´ll blast your head off!  
  
JAMES BOND: Hey, girls are not supposed to blast heads off.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh yeah? (starts chasing James Bond through the room, shooting laser rays at him) Die, you stupid casanova, die!!!  
  
JAMES BOND: Waah!! Insane woman!  
  
The other heroes and villains stop fighting to watch The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire run around the room like a maniac, trying to kill James Bond who´s fleeing like a coward. After a few seconds they shrug and go on with their battles. Out of nowhere a singer´s voice appears who sings the Pretty Woman melody with changed lyrics.  
  
SOME SINGER GUY: Evil woman, running ´round the room, evil woman, shooting at a goon... (author´s note: too lazy to make up more of the lyrics; if you´re so bored that you don´t have anything better to do, do it yourself)  
  
Suddenly a loud voice breaks the silence.  
  
LOUD VOICE: Hey, what´s going on in here?  
  
Everyone stops fighting and stares at the owner of the loud voice who is..  
  
CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
WUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
  
  
Author´s note: Uhum, uh, I have to confess, I don´t even know the answer myself. I´m not sure how to end this fic since the next chapter is probably going to be the last one.  
  
Maliana: I know, I know! I come back in through a beygluð steypa window (which is my sister Melanie) and kill everyone, then I rule the world. Hehehe...  
  
Me: Uh, sure.  
  
Melanie: I´m a beygluð steypa window! I´m a beygluð steypa window! I´m a beygluð steypa window!  
  
Maliana: Can I ask you a question?  
  
Me: People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?' don´t really give you a choice, do they?  
  
Maliana: You said that I don´t have anything to do with the plot. What is the plot?  
  
Me: Uuuuhh, I don´t think there is one.  
  
Maliana: So I don´t have anything to do with nothing?  
  
Me: Pretty much.  
  
Melanie: I´m a beygluð steypa window! I´m a beygluð steypa window! I´m a beygluð steypa window!  
  
Disclaimer: I own the list in the beginning of the chapter. ( I don´t own any of the heroes that came in except Jojo and Snati (Snati is a stuffed animal I´ve had since I was really little). I don´t own the Nazguls. I don´t own Maliana. She owns herself as well as her self-made Nazgul costume and her cool leathery gloves. I don´t own Melanie either. Maliana owns her (just kidding). The words 'Splink', 'Brutnik' and 'Spoofah' are property of the Toutai sisters. I don´t own the Pretty Woman theme. I´m not sure who owns the phrase 'beygluð steypa window'. I either made it up or said something really stupid that caused Melanie to make it up. Oh well, all I have left to say is ONE DAY TOUTAI IS GOING TO BE THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE!!! Wuahahaha! Review please. 


	6. Chapter 6

Super-evil-villain-meeting  
  
A very stupid story  
  
By Miriam G.  
  
Author´s note: You don´t know how many friends you have until you write a strange fic. Suddenly everyone wanted to be mentioned in the story and if I had gotten a Krona (Icelandic money) for every suggestion I´d gotten from my friends I ´d be richer than Bill Gates now. Maliana asked me to blast James Bond´s head off but when I told her that this fic is G-rated she got an awkward look on her face. The only one of the people I know who read the story and didn´t say that he loved it was a boy who asked me if I had a lot of time on my hands after school.. Anyway, I finally got this chapter uploaded. Can´t disappoint my faithful readers, can I? By the way, good news! I have decided to write one more chapter so this isn´t the last one. Yay!  
  
Disclaimer: Huh? What´s a disclaimer? I don´t own anything, I don´t even own this disclaimer.  
  
Suddenly a loud voice breaks the silence.  
  
LOUD VOICE: Hey, what´s going on in here?  
  
Everyone stops fighting and stares at the owner of the loud voice who is.. someone who looks like Santa Claus!  
  
SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE SANTA CLAUS: Miriam, hvad gører du her? Du har ikke lavet dine lektier!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Huh? Oh, I haven´t done my homework yet. Evil Dark Lords don´t do homework! That´s the beauty of it! Wuahahaha..  
  
The villains and heroes stare at her confused.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: ..haha.. fine, I´ll do my homework! Grumble, grumble, grumble..  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Let me guess; yourr Danish teacherr, Mirriam?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (is busy doing Danish homework) Yup! Sigurður Lyngdal.  
  
VOLDEMORT: How did your teacher find this overly top secret, well hidden place?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t ask me, it´s not like I wrote this story.. wait, as a matter of fact, I DID write this story. Weird..  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Quite amusing. The Mighty and Evil Author Miriam G. is doing Danish homework. Pathetic, isn´t it?  
  
VEGETA: Hey, that sounds like something I should say!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Shut up! How do you say world domination in Danish?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: I have always wanted to meet you, Misterr Danish teacherr. My sisterr says that you arre a funny perrson.  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: Thank you, boy. (gives him some candy) Here, have some candy.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Uh, thanks..  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Can I have some too? Please!  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: As soon as you´ve done your homework.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Grrrrrr..  
  
VEGETA: Hah! That bratty big-mouth finally got what she deserved!  
  
MOJO JOJO: Yes, serves her right!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: It could´ve been worse. It could´ve been my English teacher and since this is an English fic he would have tortured us all with his horrible accent, uh, I mean, I didn´t say that, who said that, certainly not me..  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Do your homework!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Who died and made you king?  
  
LORD PATRENABO: Practically.. you did.  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: One question. Does anyone know who these three are? When I told them that I´m visiting Miriam´s fic they wanted to join me. (points at two girls and one boy standing behind him)  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh! They´re just the Toutais. They would have killed me if I hadn´t put them in my fic. Again.  
  
MALIANA: Hi there, little evil person!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: I´m not little!  
  
MELANIE: I´m a beygluð steypa window! (rolls around in an office chair until she crashes against the wall)  
  
THE EMPEROR: Woah! Slow down with the sugar, girl!  
  
MELANIE: I don´t need sugar. I have an endless jar of sugar inside me! Hey, cool! Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins both in the same room! Can I have your autographs?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Why arre you herre, Henrry? You´rre not a villain, arre you?  
  
HENRY: (with a bored voice and a bored expression) No, I´m a hero. And I have a magic sword. (pulls out a magic sword in a bored motion) Fear my judges. Swish swish clang clang.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Surreeee.. I´m scarred.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Okay! I´m done now! Can I have some candy now?  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: No.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Why not?  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: Because you´re writing this chapter at a time of day when you should be asleep.  
  
MALIANA: Hey, Miriam! Guess what! Viggo Mortensen is in Iceland and I´m going to go out looking for him. He´s sooooo cool.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You´re obsessed with him. Geez! (rolls her eyes)  
  
MALIANA: Look who´s talking, Miss I´m-obsessed-with-Tom-Riddle!  
  
Both The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. Of the Something- Empire and Voldemort blush (Tom Riddle is Voldemort´s real name, in case you didn´t know).  
  
JAMES BOND: Tom Riddle!? (looks at Voldemort) You chose that old fossil over me. You have insulted my dignity!  
  
VOLDEMORT: (turns James Bond into a dish washer) Rather an old fossil than, uh..  
  
MALIANA: ..a young pervert?  
  
VOLDEMORT: Exactly.  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: Hey! Don´t you dare say anything bad about James Bond! I saw every single one of his movies at the opening day!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (rolls her eyes) Men and James Bond! (notices that she is surrounded with men) Uh, never mind! Where were we?  
  
MALIANA: You´re obsessed with Tom Riddle.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Right. Well, at least I´m obsessed with someone.. (pauses, then stops)  
  
MALIANA: (grins) What? With someone real? May I remind you that Tom Riddle is a fictional character while Viggo Mortensen is a person of flesh and blood?  
  
SIGURÐUR LYNGDAL: Yes, and he´s Danish!  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Leave me alone.  
  
MELANIE: It´s kind of crowded in here. Can´t you throw somebody out?  
  
VISSER THREE: Good idea! We also have to decide how to take over the world.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You´re right. Jared, I mean Jared, the Most Evil Villain of... you know. Could you please get rid of all the heroes? We don´t need them.  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History grins and makes his knuckles crunch. He throws all the heroes out, three at a time, including Sigurður Lyngdal and Henry. In the end only James Bond who is still a dishwasher is left.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Can we keep the dishwasherr? That way, if we get hungrry we alrready have some plates.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Suuuure... What about Maliana and Melanie?  
  
MALIANA: I´m a villain! I stole Lord of the Rings from the school library!  
  
SAURON: Wait a minute! I´m the Lord of the Rings! How could you steal me from your school library?  
  
MALIANA: I meant the book.  
  
SAURON: There´s a book about me?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Okay, okay! I got the point! You can stay. What about you, Melanie?  
  
MELANIE: I can be evil too. See? (smirks evilly)  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: (sighs) Fine, you can stay too.  
  
MALIANA: So, Miriam, when are you and Tom Riddle going to get married?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Not funny! NOT FUNNY!  
  
MALIANA: This wasn´t meant as a joke. After all, this is your fic and you can make him do anything you want. You can even make him young and handsome again.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hmm, good point... (looks at Voldemort)  
  
VOLDEMORT: (points his wand at The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire) Don´t even think about it.  
  
DARTH VADER: Uum, I´d hate to interrupt but how are we going to take over the world now?  
  
QUAKI: I have an idea.  
  
BOWSER: The duck has an idea? Now I´m scared.  
  
QUAKI: Let´s ask the readers.  
  
VEGETA: Ask the readers how we´re going to take over the world?  
  
QUAKI: No, let´s ask the readers which one of us deserves to rule the world. We can have some sort of an election and the winner will be announced in the next chapter.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hey, that´s a good idea. You´re not as stupid as you look, Quaki. Well, not quite.  
  
HENRY: (suddenly sticks his head in through the door, excited voice) Vote for me! Vote for me! Uh, I mean (bored voice again) Vote for me. Vote for me.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: They can´t vote forr you, stupid. You´rre a herro with a magic sworrd, rrememberr? And herroes with magic sworrds don´t rrule the worrld.  
  
HENRY: Vote for me, anyway.  
  
VOLDEMORT: (throws a rock at Henry´s face) Get lost!  
  
Henry crawls away.  
  
BOWSER: I think the readers will vote for me.  
  
MOJO JOJO: Why in the world would anyone want an innocent fluffy white bunny to rule the world?  
  
BOWSER: Face the facts, stupid monkeyhead! This is a weird fic so the people reading it would all have a weird sense of humor. And since they have a weird sense of humor they will probably vote for the unlikeliest one. And that´s me.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY WHO NAMES HIMSELF GARFIELD: No, I think that would be me. Heeheeheeheehee...  
  
VEGETA: No, of course the readers will vote for me because I´m the most popular, the coolest, the most handsome, the smartest...  
  
THE EMPEROR: Not to mention the most modest one.  
  
VEGETA: Why, thank you! (pauses for a second) Wait...  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: I think you should vote for me. After all, I wrote this crap so I deserve it.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: But I´m morre evil than you. Besides, I have a cool villain accent and you don´t.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh yeah? (speaks with a Scottish accent) What about this accent? Do I sound more evil now?  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: No, now you sound like Grroundkeeperr Willy.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Ach! Get off the grass!  
  
MALIANA: You should vote for me because I have the coolest Nazgul costume and leathery gloves.  
  
MELANIE: You should vote for me because, uh... I´m a beygluð steypa window!!! (starts rolling around on the office chair again) I´m a beygluð steypa window!  
  
HENRY: (sticks his head in again) You should vote for me because I´m a hero with a magic sword.  
  
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: (throws Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s Kitty Who Names Himself Garfield at Henry´s face) Didn´t we tell you to leave?  
  
Henry crawls away again.  
  
JARED, THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN OF VILLAIN HISTORY: Can I vote too?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Sure, as long as you write a review.  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History sits down in some corner, takes a piece of paper and a pen and starts writing.  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: But don´t vote for yourself!  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History frowns, throws the piece of paper away and takes a new one.  
  
QUAKI: Can I vote?  
  
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Fictional characters can´t vote.  
  
MALIANA: Exactly! Your review will not be counted unless you can prove that you´re not a fictional character.  
  
Henry sticks his head in again.  
  
HENRY: Vote for me!  
  
Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History throws the dishwasher at Henry´s face. Henry crawls away again.  
  
Author´s note: You heard what we said! Leave a review and tell me who you think deserves to rule the world. In case you didn´t remember, the choices are: Lord Patrenabo, Voldemort, Vegeta, Darth Vader, Bowser (alias the innocent fluffy white bunny), Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s Kitty Who Names Himself Garfield, Mojo Jojo, The Emperor, Visser Three, Sauron, Quaki, me (yay!), my brother, Maliana, Melanie and... uh... Henry (please don´t vote for him). And remember to prove that you´re not a fictional character. A signed review should be enough. All right. Your vote is due, let´s say, on the 17th of April. Then I will write the next chapter. And please don´t vote for Henry! He´s going to hate me for this chapter. I think he doesn´t like me much anyway. VOTE FOR ME!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!  
  
Reupdate: First, I want to apologize. I meant 17th of MAY, not April. I was kind of confused or something. So, your vote counted, Light-finger! Right, as there are six people who got one vote each and we can´t let them all rule the world I decided to have a second election. The nominees are: Nakago (I´m sorry to say that I have no idea who that is), Sauron, Voldemort, The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. with a Big G. of the Something-Empire (yay!), Quaki and ... Ernst Stavro Blofeld´s Kitty who Names Himself Garfield!!! By the way, "Someone"! Your vote for Henry didn´t count as a) you didn´t prove that you´re not a fictional character and b) how stupid do you think I am, Henry? Anyway, I´m going to be a bit busy in the next two weeks so let´s say the second voting is up June 5th, okay? And this time I´m absolutely sure it´s the right month. June! June!! JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, that's all. Please leave a vote after the peep tone. PEEP!  
  
P.S. I would have updated earlier but Jared, the Most Evil Villain of Villain History and my other brother Kristján (and his best friend Henry) didn´t let me use the computer for the past two days. 


End file.
